4 Challenges of Parenting Parents with Dementia

Lonely walk

This week I was deeply moved by a phone call by a woman asking about resources on the topic of dementia. It’s a close to home but hard to talk about topic. Here are a few of the real challenges we agreed on:

1) It’s a new issue. Because we are living longer, with better medical care, dementia is an increasingly common condition among seniors. Because most of our grandparents died before their brains began to deteriorate, we lack the generational memory for how to deal with this increasingly common reality.

2) Learning to parent our parents as they move into a second childhood is hard. It is challenging enough to deal with irrational behaviour with young children, who require our supervision to be safe, but in that case we know they will outgrow these stages. How can we still honour the parents who raised us and make decisions for them which they can no longer, but may still want to make? How can we soften the humiliation as they incrementally lose control of their lives?

3) Finding safe places to share the challenges is hard. We don’t want to speak poorly of the parents we love and honour, and it can be humiliating for them when others learn about their dementia. And yet, we need to find our way of providing the assistance they need and doing the self-care we need to remain healthy.

4) Finding resources is hard. There are a few good books and videos out there, but we need more. Thank goodness for places like Common Word that make them easy to access. If you know of another helpful resource, please add it as a comment. This is an challenge we need to help each meet.


About Elsie Hannah Ruth Rempel

As a young senior whose life could easily have ended in a nasty car crash in 2012 I live with an extra dose of gratitude to God, humanity, and the wonders of our human bodies. I am a passionate advocate for ministry WITH children and seniors in the life and ministry of the church. I started working in Faith Formation with Mennonite Church Canada in 2002. Thinking and writing about faith helps me see God at work in all kinds of surprising places. I'd like to be remembered as one who encourages others to live into God's good dream for our world. My book, Please Pass the Faith: The Spiritual Art of Grandparenting, is one big way I'm trying to share that encouragement with my peers. This blog is another way I'd like to engage people who care about growing in faith across the generations.
This entry was posted in Congregational life, Dementia, Differently abled, Family life, Healthy Habits, intergenerational, Parenting, Senior Spirituality, Women's concerns and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to 4 Challenges of Parenting Parents with Dementia

  1. Kirsten Schroeder says:

    Thank you Elsie. A very timely article when so many are dealing with aging parents.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s